On speeding up, slowing down, and what the flu has to do with it

Isn't it funny how, when life's moving full-speed ahead and we're struggling to keep up, our bodies will force us to slow down?

This past month, I've been struggling to balance work, school, preparation for the launch of my health coaching business, and spending time with family and friends. Add to that mix: attempting to cook healthy meals from scratch nearly every night and maintaining my near-daily regimen of yoga and/or running.

I hope this doesn't sound like a complaint, because the fact is...I love it all. I love working at lululemon, surrounded by amazing co-workers and a vibrant company culture. I eagerly soak up the knowledge of food and nutrition in my IIN studies. I am ecstatic about my budding health coaching career, and am over-the-moon excited to launch my practice. Spending time with Jason (and Basil) is, without fail, the highlight of my day. And, of course, preparing nutritious homemade meals and moving my body fuels my energy for all of the above.

I recognize how lucky I am to be overwhelmed by these many passions. (In fact, sometimes I've overwhelmed by that fact alone.)

And yet, the body knows when it needs a break.

I woke up yesterday with a fever, muscle aches, chills, and a sore throat. Forgive me the overused hyperbole, but my first coherent thought was I feel like I've been hit by a truck, closely followed by that other cliché, I CANNOT afford to get sick right now.

Have you ever noticed how it's always those times that we "can't afford" to get sick that we do? This is not just some unfortunate coincidence. When we're stressed, our bodies respond, first by polite request. Perhaps some mild fatigue, a headache, or other not-too-serious symptoms, many of which we either ignore or suppress with a pill, at which point our bodies become more insistent. It's then that we're forced to rest, by, for example, waking up with the flu as I did yesterday.

I used to feel terribly guilty about taking a sick day, always wondering if I should chug some Dayquil and "power through." I now wonder: What could possibly be shameful about recognizing my body's need for rest?

In that spirit, I'm honoring my need for rest today. You'll find me on the couch, huddled beneath a pile of blankets, a dachshund on my lap, a Nook in one hand and mug of tea in the other. 


Thank goodness for the body's wisdom. 

Book Review: Poser

Poser: My Life in Twenty-Three Yoga Poses by Claire Dederer

Part memoir, part meditation, Poser is the witty and moving tale of one woman's journey through marriage and motherhood, distilled through the prism of yoga. Faced with the hyper-political correctness of her ultra-hip late-90's "liberal enclave" neighborhood in North Seattle (a place where "people don't have BEWARE OF DOG signs...they have PLEASE BE MINDFUL OF DOG" signs), Claire Dederer pursues yuppie virtue with a vengeance: breast-feeding, cooking organic meals from scratch, eschewing plastic toys, volunteering at the childcare co-op, working full-time, and arranging date nights with her husband. Physically and emotionally burnt out, Claire turns to the practice of yoga, a practice she begins with vague notions about stress relief, but which becomes increasingly a therapeutic refuge from that idealized version of womanhood to which she had so desperately aspired. 

Each chapter of the book is anchored by a yoga pose, the asana providing a metaphor for her musings on a particular aspect of her life (Child's Pose for recalling salient pieces of her own childhood and so on). Through yoga, Claire eventually comes to better understand both her own neuroses and the sub-cultural forces that had whipped her and an entire generation of her peers into the frenzied pursuit of perfection.

Some critics have compared Poser to Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, but aside from the obvious parallels of being female autobiographies that employ yoga-as-metaphor-for-life to varying degrees, the two are, in fact, very different stories. While Gilbert finds salve in the external--her travels illuminating key revelations about herself and her failed marriage--Claire ultimately rejects the trappings of the external world, instead turning inward to discover that the "reality" she'd unquestioningly accepted her whole life is, in fact, an illusion.

Yogis especially will appreciate Claire's encounters with the various styles of yoga (vinyasa, restorative, etc.), with humorously observed descriptions of each, but non-yogis will just as strongly relate to the universality of Claire's journey. In fact, a large part of the book's appeal was in recognizing pieces of myself in Claire and the ensuring catharsis of commiserating with her anxieties (many of which mirror my own) and then laughing with her (and by extension, at myself) as she so aptly dissects those same worries and fears.

Bottom line? Poser is an engaging reminder of the counterintuitive beauty that happens when we stop trying to be good--at yoga or in life--and instead allow ourselves to just be.

Have any of you read it?  If so, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Why food doesn't fill us up: an update on my IIN classes

A couple months into my IIN program, I am even more excited about my new chosen career path than when I first began.  I have been learning so much about food and nutrition, and the more I learn, the more knowledge I crave.  The guest lectures on the various dietary theories fascinate me.  David Wolfe on the benefits of raw foods.  Andrea Beaman and Lawrence Kushi on macrobiotics.  Joshua Rosenthal (IIN's founder) on all the varying modes of vegetarianism.  Walter Willett on the (many) shortcomings of the USDA food pyramid and Marion Nestle on the politics that enable the perpetuation of the Standard American Diet (SAD).  I absorb their words eagerly, mentally weaving threads from each viewpoint into my own philosophy toward food and my approach toward counseling.  

While I'm enthralled by the nutrition facts and dietary theories, I'm especially affected by the program's emphasis, at every step, that food is, in fact, not our primary food.  What actually feeds us is the quality of our relationships.  Our level of spiritual fulfillment.  Our level of satisfaction with our career.  Our physical activity.  The strength of our connection to our community. 

These are the things that truly fulfill and sustain us, and part of the reason our culture is so screwed up about food is that we believe, mistakenly, that it has the power to fill that deeper void we might feel in other areas of our life.  

True wellness is not only about adopting a healthier diet and hitting the gym more often (though these things are good and would undoubtedly yield benefits for much of the population).  Rather, it's recognizing that every aspect of our lives - relationships, spirituality, career, physical activity, community, etc. - has the potential to fill us up or to starve us to death.  

The quality of our diets is hugely important to our physical health, but the food itself is only part of the equation, and to change our relationship with food, we must first examine any imbalances we're experiencing in other parts of our life.

I love being a student again.  I especially love being a student of wellness, which, as I'm learning, is really about improving the quality of our lives, and the potential we have in doing so, to change the way we experience the world.

Image via IIN.

Happy New Year's Eve (and some fun news)

Happy New Year's Eve!  Whew...where did the past couple of weeks of 2010 disappear to?  I feel like I have so much to share with you all!

First, our Christmas was lovely.  We spent Christmas Eve at home, just the three of us (counting Basil).  We drank wine, enjoyed a wonderful dinner (penne with a garlic and white wine sauce), and opened our gifts from one another.  Jason gave me a Nook Color, which I absolutely love...I've already devoured two books on it!  We spent Christmas Day with Jason's family, and enjoyed more amazing food, laughter, and generous gifting.  I was excited to receive a yoga bolster, an essential oils starter kit, a gift certificate for a deep tissue massage, and many more goodies.  We also delighted in opening a generous gift my parents had mailed to us: a gift certificate for the tasting menu at Volt (the restaurant of Michael Voltaggio, of Top Chef renown), which we've been dying to try!

My big news is something that I actually began a couple months ago, but that I haven't yet shared here.  I have a new job!  While I wanted to focus on school for the next year, I also wanted to find ways to network within the local community, hone my business skills, and bring in some additional income.  So, I accepted a position with a company that I've long loved and admired...(drumroll please)...lululemon!  I love it so much, I can't even tell you guys.  I've already met an amazing group of people (fellow co-workers and guests to the store), and I get to talk to people about yoga, running, health, etc. all day.   And because the company truly encourages its employees to live healthy, balanced lives, we have the benefit of attending any yoga or fitness class at any gym/studio in the area - for free!  With the extra space in my schedule (it's literally a 5-minute commute and I'm working about 25 hours per week), I've had time to focus on school and fit in 1-2 hours of yoga and/or running daily.  For the first time in a long time, I feel like I've located balance for myself as a whole person (emotional, physical, spiritual) and it's an amazing feeling.

This afternoon, I'm ringing in the new year by running a 5K with Jason and some lululemon co-workers (or lulus, as we call each other) this afternoon.  I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited to get some racing experience.  Afterward, we'll get showered and dressed up to go out to dinner at a fancy seafood restaurant and then meet up with some friends before midnight.  I can't wait!

Happy New Year guys!  Thanks for helping to make 2010 the incredible year it was.  Here's to new adventures in 2011!  xoxo

Image via Come to Believe.

Reverb10: Try

December 18 Prompt: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

Wow, where to begin?  I feel as if I always have tons of stuff on the "to try" list.  Some essentials for 2011 include:

-Trying new (to me) holistic modalities (esp. acupuncture and chiropracty)
-Making my own aromatherapy-infused lotions and potions using essential oils
-Eating more raw and alkaline foods (a la the lovely Kris Carr and her amazing new book)
-Different styles of yoga.  I've been hearing such good things about Kundalini yoga, which is devoted to awakening the body's energy or life force.  Has anyone tried it?
-Beginning my morning with 20 minutes of meditation
-Increased philanthropy and volunteer work with causes dear to my heart
-Daily morning pages
-Continued culinary experimentation...I'm always looking for delicious and healthy recipes to try
-And perhaps most significantly, launching my health coaching business.  My vision for my business continues to evolve in exciting ways, and I can't wait to share it with the world.  While there's certainly some anxiety (as there is with any new and unknown venture), I'm incredibly excited to try my hand at entrepreneurship in 2011!

2010 was a year of transition for me, filled with new faces, places, sights, sounds, tastes, emotions, decisions, and dreams.  Of all the things I tried, the most life-altering was my decision to become my healthiest self.  Honestly, I didn't know I was capable of making such a powerful change until I tried.  Tried going meat and dairy-free and felt a psychic weight lift from my conscience.  Tried stepping off the sugar rollercoaster and felt better than I had in years.  Tried giving up my morning coffee (something I never thought I'd be able to do), and noticed a calm and steady energy I'd never experienced in my caffeine-addict days.  Tried challenging myself to a higher level of physical activity, and, in the process, re-claimed a deep connection to and appreciation for my body and its abilities.  Throughout the process, I tried locating my "edge" (to borrow a phrase from yoga), and then tried pushing past it.  I'm so glad I did.

This post is part of Reverb10.  (Kudos to my dear friend, Kaileen Elise, for such a juicy, thought-provoking prompt!)

Reverb 10: Friendship

December 16 Prompt: Friendship
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

My sister is my best friend.  Sometimes it's hard to believe she's the younger one; she's truly one of the wisest, coolest, most courageous people I know.  I could sing her praises all day, but what really impacted me over the past year was the example she set for me by following her passion.  She was thriving in a great job as a Technical Writer, but she knew her real calling lay elsewhere.  A talented poet, she decided to quit her job and apply to MFA programs.  Watching her pursue her creative dreams prompted me to take a good look at my own career path and re-evaluate what I really wanted in life.  My sister encouraged me to explore a career in holistic health, and with her support (and the support of other friends and family), I quit my job and enrolled at IIN.  

Reverb10 catch-up

I'm trying my hardest to stay current with my Reverb posts, but I've slipped in the past couple of days.  In the spirit of not making excuses for myself (see #10 below), I'll be honest and say that I'm finding it difficult to post on a daily basis because of the time and energy it requires.  (While Reverb participants certainly don't have to answer every prompt, I wanted to challenge myself by trying.)

December 11 Prompt: Things 

What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

1.  Clutter.  I love clean, open spaces and clear surfaces, so clutter drives me crazy.  This year, 

I need to pare down the amount of unneeded, unwanted stuff that I have.

2.  Distractions.  TV and mindless internet surfing are two of my biggest.  These things are fine in moderation, but I find that living with intention requires cutting down on "background noise" and listening to what's real. 

3.  Mindless consumerism.  For reasons of the wallet and the soul, I'd like to spend more mindfully in 2011.  

4.  Feeling guilty about saying "no."  To requests for favors, social obligations, and other demands on my time and energy.  I struggle with being able to prioritize and assert my own needs, but I'm getting better at it.  It's an ongoing process.

5. Comparisons.  I tend to compare my own life to others' lives and feel jealous of those who "have it all, " even though I realize it's impossible to really know what someone else's life is like.  In 2011, I'd like to replace comparison with compassion.  Compassion for myself and for the challenges that others undoubtedly face, even if their lives seem perfect on the surface.

6.  Self-doubt and negative thinking.  Replacing them with self-confidence and positive thinking in 2011.  

7.  Obsessing over my to-do list.  Being organized is good.  Scheduling an unrealistic number of tasks in my planner and then beating myself up when I inevitably fail to get everything done?  Not so much.  

8.  Wishing.  "I wish my living room were decorated differently..."  "I wish I had more time to paint and draw..."  Usually the things I "wish" for are within my control, and I would be better served by calling myself to action.

9. Biting my tongue.  When I find a joke or statement to be offensive and/or bigoted.  When I want to stick up for a cause or issue I believe in.  When I witness rudeness, unfairness, or general jerkiness.  There's certainly virtue in keeping the peace, but I tend to veer too far in the opposite direction for fear of being judged, and then later wish I'd stuck up for myself and/or my viewpoint.  (See #8.)

10.  Excuses.  My own and others'.  In 2011, I'd like to stop making excuses and just be honest with myself about the issue at hand.  And while I can't control whether others' make excuses, I can be more assertive about my expectations and then hold them accountable in an authentic, compassionate way. 

11.  Lack of follow-through.  I tend to get big, exciting ideas and then quickly abandon them because, honestly?  Details sort of bum me out.  I have the capacity and intelligence to deal with the details...I just find them boring.  My challenge is to realize that anything worth doing is going to require some amount of mundane grunt work, and to find the excitement in the less glamorous aspects of any given project.

December 12 Prompt: Body Integration 

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body?  Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I can't point to a specific moment, but yoga has this effect on me.  When I'm on the mat, I feel a profound integration of body, mind, and soul.  I'm a firm believer in the power of yoga, and I think it's power lies in its ability to infuse our conscious thoughts with an awareness of our body and breath, a consciousness that, in time, begins to show up in other areas of our "off the mat" lives.  To me, this is what it means to "live your yoga."  To take that feeling of cohesion - of being fully alive and present - and to bring that same awareness to our everyday lives.